“Where do you need to be?”
As a parent, a big part of what we do is tell people where to go.
After a while, we sound like a blur of white noise, no one is listening and we have to constantly repeat orders.
It doesn’t have to be that way!
Instead of telling someone to get in the car, or go do homework, or get to the table, ask, “Where do you need to be?”
Asking a question, engages a different part of the listener’s brain. The child’s brain responds by answering the question. Now, they are the one giving the order:
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I need to get in the car so we can get to hockey.
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I need to be doing my homework.
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I need to go to the dinner table.
You can ask other questions as well:
“What needs to happen now?”
“What do you need in your bag for practice?”
When we constantly blurt out orders, our actions say, “I’m the only one who knows what to do, you need me to take all the responsibility.”
When we ask a child a question, our actions are saying, “I believe in you, you know the answer, you can be responsible for this.”
Shift your orders to questions this week and see what happens.