3 moms + 1 week + confidential = parenting post
It’s true - I heard from three different moms, (I will not reveal their names,) that they are, “So done with parenting.” They want to quit. They want to get on with their own stuff.
Perhaps you can’t relate, I could.
There have been many times along my parenting journey when I basked in the sunshine of warm-and-fuzzy-time-with-my-kids. There have been times when I was so tired I could not see straight, but I knew this was what I signed up for, and I persevered. Then there were times that I didn’t see coming - times where I was ready to do my own thing, when I thought that my kids were done needing me. I was wrong.
Each time our kids hit a new stage in life, they seem more independent. As they get older, they start to pull away and do their own thing. When they hit 17 - 18, it really feels like we made it. They want less to do with us, and we do our best to pull away too so that they can go their adult way.
Then, they need us. The scientists did warn us: They look like adults but their frontal lobes, and executive functioning skills don’t kick in until at least 25. Being needed kind of knocked me flat.
DARN - why didn’t we listen to the scientists?!!
An older, wiser woman once said to me,
“Small kids, small problems. Bigger kids, bigger problems.”
She was not wrong.
In retrospect, I am grateful that they came to me with their challenges and questions. Some come quickly, some come a little more slowly. I know parents with kids who kept their problems a secret and dug deeper holes until the holes were so deep that they had to come up for air and talk to their parents.
Either way, when the problems come up, as parents, we are there for our kids. We show up - not perfectly, we just show up. We listen, we hug, we walk alongside. Then, they start walking on their own again.
The way I see it, families are like teams. We work together. We are together through the struggles and the celebrations. Team members put stuff aside to support each other, especially as all the team members get a bit older.
If you are feeling like you are ready to do your own thing, don’t stop dreaming. The time will come. The whole team will be made stronger by learning from the challenges and with the magic sprinkling of nostalgia, we’ll be grateful for the chance to learn something new.
Hang in there!