"Don't worry that your kids aren't listening to you. Worry that they are WATCHING EVERYTHING YOU DO!" ~Sal Severe, Ph.D
This becomes especially relevant when we are talking about teaching values. Kids learn about 75% of what they learn from us through our actions. When we live our values in our daily lives, they learn them.Talking about them isn't enough!
When it comes to teaching our children values here are two key steps:
1. We need to be clear what we want to teach, and then,
2. In addition to talking about it, we need to figure out how to show the values that are important to our own family.
For example:
Preaching tolerance and community while campaigning for laws to keep "Others" out of our communities teaches exclusion and intolerance.
Talking about honesty while lying about a child's age to get them into the event for less money teaches dishonesty.
One of my affluent clients recently asked me how she could teach her young children about generosity. She wasn't sure how to build it into her day-to-day family life. It was a great reminder to me that our daily actions are more important in teaching values than something we do once or twice a year. Kids will remember watching their parents lend a neighbour a cup of sugar or stopping to help a neighbour carry in their groceries. They'll have key memories of families getting together to help one family work on a project, or sharing a meal. This is where teaching generosity starts.
Lastly, because kids are learning from watching, they are also watching others. If we don't clearly live and teach our values, they will learn them from someone else.